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remember the nights we had?
that day you told me "i love you",
and i said it back?
remember everything that we've
done together?
remember everything i did wrong?
oh, well those days are over now.
nothing wrong with moving on,
i suppose.
just know that i'm missing you,
and i just don't know what to say now.
couldn't believe something like this could happen
i thought we were forever.
but, i don't deserve you.
but i'm just trying,
i'm tryin' to change, cause there's nothing
left to do.
maybe i'll save the heart-break for the next one,
and i'll give him your number,
and he'll call you up.
and from the receiver he'll whisper
"i'm sorry, but she's changed. thanks for sacrificing your heart"
and you'll sit on the phone,
trying to remember the things that went wrong.
and you'll rack your mind and you'll think of me,
and you'll picture that time that i kissed someone else.
that night you sat outside your house in the warm summer night,
and you poured your heart to me.
when you watched me sit next to you,
and you wished you could hate me.
i sat with you, and i vowed never to do it again.
and did i?
did i?
you'll talk back into the reciever, and you'll yell
"stay away from her, she doesn't deserve you"
because you remember how i stole your innocence.
and i sit here, trying to blame you
when i know it was me.
you see, i don't really hate myself
i just hate the things i do.
maybe one day you'll see i'm trying to change.
i was foolish to think someone like you would
stay with someone like me.
foolish to think that someday you'd miss me.
don't i get it?
there's nothing to miss, because i can tell you,
i was a bitch.
i'm latching onto time, clawing my way back
but it keeps pushing me forward.
i try to change my mindset,
but i'm still stuck in this hole.
last night i walked through josh's hallway,
it's strange always going home alone.
i felt like it took hours to walk through,
the tacky hotel-like carpeting looking up at me,
the florsecent lighting shoving this realization down my throat.
i waited for the suttle rumble of the elevator coming up the shaft,
i stared at my feet, and i thought of you.
i think you'd like my new shoes.
i was soon surrounded by the night sky,
and got in my car alone.
i drove alone, i bought cigarettes alone.
i feel like i walk these streets alone now.
always moving, because when i stop,
i stop to think of you.
i don't want to sleep,
because you're the only thing i can dream about.
so, i keep my lights on, and push the sleep away.
i play the music that will let me sink further into the emptiness that i feel.
the bed reminds me of you the most,
it's been cold for so many days.
i still leave pillows on your side incase you decide you ever
want to take the chance.
a chance on me.
so tonight,
when i drove myself home again,
the lines fuzzy on the street,
i played the songs that you write about,
cause i know that's the closest i'll ever get to you.
i sang every word, and then i thought of you.
maybe we were both listening to the same song at the moment,
and for that time,
we were reconnected for a little while.
but, i don't think you get it,
and i'm not sure i even get it.
but when i look up into the bluest of night skies,
i remember when you told me you liked to drive
with your headlights off.
so, i turn my high-beams on,
and they guide my way home,
just like you used to do. |
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